Sex, Lies and Arts&Crafts

On February 1st I issued this warning on the Facebook LSPA group:
PLEASE READ THIS:
For my solo performance I am exploring the importance of lies and secrets and as such I’m creating a list of every secret I have ever been told whilst at Uni. Obviously, some of these will be you guys’ secrets, so if you think I know something that for whatever reason you don’t want the world to know, drop us a message or a facebook, and I’ll bear that in mind  I’m not naming and shaming, I’m making art! 

Now, this was not a strictly truthful warning. I was not, am not, creating a list of secrets and lies I have been told at university. It would take far too long, and most of the information although interesting would be largely irrelevant. What I wanted was to find out what people didn’t want me to share. The secrets people thought I knew. The secrets people didn’t want to share. The stories behind secrets.

Since I issued this warning I have received two messages asking not to share anything ‘I think I might know’ and a lot of people afterwards questioning what exactly I was doing. There has also been gossip heard speculating over my idea. I don’t think I’m making many friends!
No one wants me to share information that belongs to them. Why? Because 98% (estimate) of the secrets that surround our group are secrets about sex.
Who had sex with who. When. Why. Were they drunk?
And for some reason, sex is still a great taboo.

Now, sex with someone within a relationship is boring news, no one talks of that. Sex when you’re single and they’re in a relationship, now that is gossip. As is sex between two friends. Or sex between two strangers. Or sex between two people thanks to a bottle of vodka.

But why is this taboo? Why is such a natural act considering so wrong for people to do, so looked down upon? Why can’t people just have sex and not be judged?

I suspect it is somewhat to do with trust. After all, allowing someone to see you naked needs a lot of trust. And why would you trust that stranger, that well-known philanderer, someone who’s not your boyfriend/girlfriend? Trust is a big thing in today’s society. ‘I know I can trust you’ is thrown about so recklessly I wonder how often people do trust, or is that it. Do we tell secrets to people we can’t be trusted, because we kind of want everyone to know? Especially with taboo subjects, do we tell people who can’t be trusted so that everyone knows we do things that are taboo, that we’re a bit ‘exciting’ and ‘fun’?
I don’t know, I’m not going to pretend to know, I’m just speculating. I guess I’ll discover some answers soon enough.

In terms of telling a secret, solo performance as a module is interesting. I know a lot of people are outing their secrets, baring their souls. Monologue is either boasting or confessional, a wise woman once told me. And that is why we tell secrets- because we’re proud, or because we’re ashamed. Yet if we were that ashamed, would we tell those that can’t be trusted? Secrets get spread because not everyone can be trusted.

I feel a touch guilty for the topic of my performance, as a lot of people have told me I’m the most trustworthy person they know. Perhaps I am. This suggests not.
But then that too is interesting. People trusting me is important to me, to everyone, so why am I willing to break trust? Is it because people won’t see me after this performance? Is it because I’m actually terrible at keeping secrets? Is it some kind of revenge against those who have broken my trust? I don’t know.
I will update when I work it out.

Rehearsal note: Studio is booked over the weekend to do some plotting.

With my performance, I want to make the audience unsure of how true my facts are. I’m considering using real stories, real lies, but changing the names, perhaps to humorous celebrity names, or just using initials.
I think it will be more interesting for an audience to watch if they feel there’s something to decipher, or learn. After all, we are all interested in gossip, in discovering other people’s lies and secrets.

Why We Lie- Dorothy Rowe

A psychological exploration of why we lie, and the effects it can have. Suggests that we lie to protect ourselves, that society tells us to be one way so we lie to agree with the concept of society we are given. We lie so as not to upset someone, so we do not have to deal with them being upset. Essentially, we lie because we are selfish.

Hard Love- Ellen Wittlenger

“It’s a lie, you know, to pretend that nothing is important to you. It’s hiding. Believe me, I know because I hid for a long time. But now I won’t do it anymore. The truth is bioluminescent. I don’t lie, and I don’t waste time on people who do.”

In the story, the girl Marisol claims to never lie, and makes John promise to never lie to her. Of course, the first thing he says to her is a lie about her name, and so one lie becomes many. How difficult is it to not lie about anything? Even if we tell the truth to a question we are asked, what other little lies do we tell during the day?

The Great Gatsby- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.

There must have been moments even that Gatsby doubted….

Nick claims he is honest, yet he tells lie after lie. Jordan is a perpetual liar. Daisy lies first to her husband, and then to Gatsby. Gatsby is shrouded in lies. All these lies, webs of deceit, and it is all okay because everyone lies.

Today I issued a warning on Facebook to the people I know stating:
“PLEASE READ THIS:
For my solo performance I am exploring the importance of lies and secrets and as such I’m creating a list of every secret I have ever been told whilst at Uni. Obviously, some of these will be you guys’ secrets, so if you think I know something that for whatever reason you don’t want the world to know, drop us a message or a facebook, and I’ll bear that in mind I’m not naming and shaming, I’m making art!
♥” 

This allows me to know what secrets people don’t want shared, and also will give me a chance to assess people’s reactions to secrets.
I know a lot of ‘gossip’ from the three years we have been at uni, and I am aware of the fact that most of it doesn’t put people in a good light- especially some of the men on our course!
People’s reactions to the sharing of these secrets will be very interesting, although I know that a lot of people probably think I wouldn’t dare to do this, I think it’s something that follows naturally with my line of interest and research, and makes something very intriguing for an audience, especially an audience with a personal interest in the words I am saying.

Often, just telling a secret isn’t enough, or isn’t possible.
People go to all kind of different places to share secrets, confessionals, agony aunts, and now the internet is becoming a popular place for sharing secrets.
Sites like tumblr provide lots of different  blogs people can confess or share secrets on, from personal confessions to confessions about ‘fandoms’
http://sharesomesecrets.tumblr.com/
http://blogconfession.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahgleesecrets.tumblr.com/
http://confessionsofawhovian.tumblr.com/

Another popular confession is that of the anonymous postcard, seen in Coffee Aroma in Lincoln:

and famously on the website/book PostSecret. This is a website, started off as a book, wherein people can send psotcards anonymously telling their biggest secrets. These secrets can be anything from information about affairs to simple comment on living room colours.


Whether people choose to post their secrets online, or tell a friend, it’s nothing new to suggest that as humans we cannot keep a secret. Do we long to be discovered? Or is it the result of constantly being told the truth is the most important thing?